Doubt
by Argentum Anubis
Summary: When Dean is seriously wounded after following orders given to him by Castiel, the angel begins to question everything. [Multi-chaptered] [Dean and Castiel-centric with POV alternating between them.] [Disclaimer: Includes spoilers. Inside, I will list the episodes that might be spoiled inside so that you are fully warned.][Rating might change]
1. Notes

**General Notes**

First things first, I would like to warn everyone that I do not tolerate personal attacks. If you post a comment (whether it be directed at me, my story or anyone or anything else) I see as discourteous, I will delete it. If you send an offensive PM (Private Message), I will report you. Please be mature and responsible on this site. Thank you.

I appreciate polite feedback. Constructive criticism is welcomed. If I am doing something wrong, I want to hear about it. If there is anything you like (even if it is as simple as including a quote or the fact that "I like your story"), let me know; praise fuels my writing, like any other writer.

The main characters in this fanfiction are as follows: _Castiel, Dean Winchester, and Sam Winchester_. There may be appearances from: _Bobby Singer, Ruby, Lilith, and more_.

There may be _OCs_ that will appear in this fanfiction, but I will try to keep their presence limited and relatively insignificant; they have little to contribute to the plot.

As stated in the summary, Castiel and Dean are the main characters and I will have the point of view (POV) alternate between them. The POV is third person, but I will include their thoughts and feelings throughout the story. Almost every other chapter the perspective will likely change in order to keep readers informed of both Castiel and Dean's thoughts. The character perspective will be included at the top of each page, under the chapter number.

If you have any questions about this story, please feel free to ask them in the comments or by contacting me through PM.

 **Notes on Spoilers**

This story _will_ include spoilers. **This is set in season four after episode 16**. Anything before that time may be spoiled. There are definite spoilers for season 4 episodes 1, 7, 9, and 16. Anything before season 4 will likely be spoiled since season four is the first place where Castiel appears. If you have not reached at least season 4 episode 16, this fanfiction will not make sense to you and _will_ spoil everything leading up to that episode.

 **Disclaimers**

I do not own _Supernatural. I do not know anyone named Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Bobby, John, Ellen, Joe, Alastair (thank God I don't know him), or Uriel. I am merely a crazy, obsessive fan with a computer and a head full of ideas._

Thank you for putting up with this introduction. If you have no concerns about spoilers, click the button to continue on to the first chapter.

Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter One_

 _Castiel_

Never in his seemingly eternal life had Castiel known doubt.

He had rarely felt or expressed emotion of any type. If he felt worry, it was for his brothers and sisters in the midst of a war, much like the one that the children of heaven face now.

That was before he met Dean Winchester.

Dean made him feel things that he had never before experienced.

When Castiel had first plucked the man from the depths of Hell, he had been curious. ' _What makes this man so extraordinary that my father senses the need for me to rescue him?_ ' He'd wondered. ' _What can this man do?_ '

When he first spoke to him face-to-face, he had a tickling sense down his spine: excitement. This man, who had been stealing from a gas station store hours before was much more than he had expected. The elder Winchester brother was resourceful, caring; he had chosen to summon Castiel despite the risks (which he knew all too well after what had happened to the oracle after she had demanded to see the face of Castiel's true form) and was concerned for the other man (Bobby was his name, Castiel believes) after he had put the man to sleep in order to speak with Dean in private. He could tell that Dean was still scarred from his months (years) in Hell. Who wouldn't be? There is a reason, after all, that men fear death more than anything else in existence. But Dean would heal with time, although there was no way that it would be without nightmares.

When he'd had to send Dean in to torture- "interrogate"- Alastair, he'd felt a great many emotions. Even some he had never felt before. Sorrow, for one. Pity. Anger. Anger at his superiors for forcing this man- who had already been through a great many ordeals- to once again confront the demons within him. Never before had Castiel felt anger at another.

But the emotion he had felt the most in that time of mixed emotions was doubt.

The uncertainty concerned him greatly. Angels like Anna had lost their wings and fallen to Earth for their disbelief. Castiel certainly did not want that to happen to him. But- rightfully so- his gut had churned as his mind raced and the palms of his human vessel became soaked with sweat. Everything about forcing Dean to torture their demonic prison, about the betrayal of Uriel was so dreadfully _wrong_. It made him question what he knew. Or what he _thought_ he knew, anyway.

However, the doubt he felt then could not even begin to compare to what he is feeling now…

It all started a week ago. Castiel had appeared at the motel the Winchesters were staying at in order to brief them on a case he needed assistance with…

 _…_ _A week ago…_

Castiel appears in the air in front of the room he knows that Dean and Sam Winchester are staying in. Instead of showing up in their room, as he usually would, he felt that today he would be courteous and knock as a human would. Both of the brothers- especially Dean- hate his "Magic, make a man out of thin air act," as the elder brother put it.

Dean responds to the knock on the door within a few seconds, his face grim. "Cass."

"Hello, Dean," the angel says.

Dean ignores his greeting, his face grim. "What do you want? Is another seal about to be broken? Some demon you want us to kill? Someone's life you want me to destroy?"

"You sound bitter," Castiel notes, evading the purpose of his visit for a while longer as he attempts to initiate a polite conversation for a change.

"How could I not be? The last time I saw you, you made me torture Alastair and then you told me that I was the first seal to be broken." Dean leans against the frame of the door, as though by simply mentioning it, another weight is added to his shoulders.

Castiel nods. "And for that, I am truly sorry."

Dean shrugs. "Whatever. So what do you want?"

Castiel looks around at the parking lot behind him. Even though it is mid-morning, there is no one nearby. There are only a few cars that pass on the highway behind him now.

He turns back to Dean. ' _But still, better safe than sorry…_ '

"Could you let me in so that we can talk without the risk of someone overhearing?"

Dean scoffs. "So now you decide to ask for permission to enter."

Still, he backs away and allows his angelic company to enter.

Sam is sitting on the edge of one of the twin beds, tying his shoelaces. He eyes him wordlessly, but Castiel can detect a certain wariness in the man's emerald eyes.

Castiel nods at him and attempts a smile, only managing a small movement of his lips that could easily be mistaken for a grimace.

Sam stands and walks over to a table near the door where his bag is.

"So…" Dean says, calling Castiel's attention back to him. "You're here… Why, exactly?"

"I need your help."

"Of course." Dean rolls his eyes.

Castiel licks his lips apprehensively. "Something strange has been going on in [Place] and my superiors are worried that it might be a harbinger of a seal about to be broken."

Dean watches him silently for a minute. Then, his face softens and he lets out a sigh. "Fine. Anything to help stop the apocalypse, I guess. Give us the details."

Dean and Castiel sit on the beds and Sam stands over near the table while Castiel fills them in.

Recently, there had been a large amount of cattle disembowelment, odd weather phenomena, and unrest. There were also rumors among the angels that several murders concealed as suicides had taken place.

"The first," clarifies Castiel, "was a man named Frank McGraw. He was forty-five, happily married with kids."

"What happened?" inquires Sam.

Castiel glances his way. "It is unclear exactly what happened, but based on what I have gathered, McGraw stabbed himself in the abdomen and chest multiple times before he died. His wife found him in the living room of their home shortly after and upon their arrival, paramedics declared him deceased."

Dean frowns. "Demon possession, maybe? Maybe McGraw was able to take control of his body for a short while and he took the chance to try and gank the demon? It's happened before."

Castiel nods. "Perhaps. But the other three deaths suggest otherwise. Two of the others are men, one is a woman. Like the first victim, they are normal people with seemingly happy lives. One of the men was burned alive in his own fireplace. The third man bludgeoned himself to death in his garage; he used a hammer. The woman electrocuted herself in her bathroom using a hairdryer."

The brothers frown. Seeing their pensive expressions, Castiel adds, "The scenes of death all had sulfur residue. And if this demon is killing them, it probably is not out of necessity. The family and friends of the victims claim that the victims acted no different in the days prior to their deaths."

"Wait," interrupts Sam. "Are you saying that this demon is purposefully possessing people just so that it can kill them for fun and then move onto the next body?"

Castiel nods. "Yes. And there is a possibility that this demon knows where we can locate Lilith. If we can find her, we can finish things for once and for all."

"So who is this demon?"

"No one knows a name. All we have are the apparent suicides."

Dean clenches his teeth and stands up. "Great. Just great. So you want us to go chasing something that may or may not be a demon to possibly find out where Lilith is. And that's if they even know where she is or if she is still there when we get there." Dean lets a huff of breath. "Y'know, Cass, you are absolutely _no_ help."

"I am sorry, but I just do not have any other information to offer you."

Sam nudges Dean's shoulder. "So what do you think? Should we do it?"

Dean glances in Castiel's direction as the angel watches the siblings. "I guess. I mean, if it is a step closer to ganking Lilith and preventing the apocalypse, it's worth checking out. We've sprung for less."

Sam shrugs. "Yeah, but…" He studies his older brother's face. "Are you sure you're up to it."

Dean puts on a grin, but Castiel can see right through his faux expression as the man lies, "Absolutely. Why wouldn't I be?"

As Sam opens his mouth to respond to the rhetorical question, Dean changes the topic.

"Is there anything else, Cass?"

The angel shakes his head. "No, there's not. Just… be careful, Dean."

With that, Castiel stands and disappears from the room.


End file.
